I'm talking about parenting in my new True/Slant post. I wonder how many of you will relate to how I feel as a mom, straddling two generational styles of parenting...?
It's a bit of a lengthy one, so get your cup of tea/coffee, and piece of chocolate!
5 comments:
It's a great article! I'm panicking a little about being a mom soon. I guess I didn't realize how much it involves! *gasp*
Although I'm not a mother, some of my friends are and I see them doing a lot, if not all, of the things you discuss in the article. I quite often wish for simpler times because I sometimes just feel like there is too much going on. I can't imagine having to do your own thing, AND do all of that for your children. My mother was a working woman when I was in my early teens & I'm amazed she managed to do it all. We didn't have take out, we had home cooked meals every night, we had lunches packed for us, laundry done, etc. We were given chores to help out (washing dishes, vacuuming & helping start dinner were mine - from which I developed a love of cooking) but looking back, I realize she was a superwoman. Fads and trends come and go. Times change. Let's hope that the majority raise respectful, compassionate, self-sufficient individuals, who will in turn, raise their own children using their parents example the way you have tried to do in a completely different world from the one we grew up in. Bravo Dreena!
I can completely relate to your article. I have 2 kids with one on the way and I really have to dig in my heels not to over-schedule my kids! We live in a neighborhood full of kids and thankfully they do occasionally have neighbor friends knock on the door to see if they can come out and play! However, this summer many of the families on our street have their kids in day-camp all day and our neighborhood has felt pretty lonely. Our kids have one activity (gymnastics) once a week and that's it for the summer. During school I just can't bring myself to schedule extra-curricular activities for my older son, because between school and homework (yes, HOMEWORK for a kindergartener!), I think he needs all of the remaining free time to just play.
I can totally relate to the longing to not have to plan playdates. It is too stressful! When I invite a mom and child over for a playdate I feel this sudden pressure to get the bathrooms freshly cleaned and the floor mopped. I find myself hesitating to call up and invite my kids' friends over because it is exhausting on my part!
Thanks for the article...I am glad not to be the only one in this boat!o
As a Mum of 3 I can totally relate! Your article could have been written about my life and experiences as a child and as a Mother now, I often wish things were more like they were in the past. I barely allow my children to go out and check the mail box without hovering in the window to make sure they are okay and even though my eldest is in Year 4 I would never dream of letting her walk to school, where I was walking myself years before I was her age.
I too do my best to have home cooked meals on the table and some things we have kept as they were...canteen lunches for example are a treat you have a few times a year, not a daily occurance at school. Striking a balance is hard though!
Fantastic article Dreena!
puggies, I don't mean to freak you out! It all comes gradually, trust me. I remember watching other parents before having our first and thinking 'how do they manage all of that'. But really, you adjust to stages and things change. Newborns and babies require a lot of time in one way, and then they develop into toddlers and require less feeding/changing/sleep management but are getting into a lot of things and need to be supervised a great deal, then they gain more independence when they are 3'ish, and then soon after preschool and school begins. It's then the activities and parties and such begin... but every stage is as fun as it might be trying at time, and you really find your feet as you go... so deep breaths, girl, you'll be fine! :)
Carrie, thanks for that. I love that your own family role helped you develop the love for cooking that you now have. I think when we have that kind of upbringing where home and family is what is important and with a focus on the family, we then feel sad to see how it has disintegrated in many ways with trying to keep up with the times. Thanks for your encouraging words. xo
Rebekah, thanks for your feedback, and oh I am with you about the playdates! And I've talked to girlfriends who also agree that they feel stressed when organizing them. The only play dates I don't feel that way about are for a couple of good friendships that have developed with our children (and us with the parents). Other than that, I feel play date pressure, just as you explained! And, that's kinda sad that you neighborhood is like a ghost town with kids in summer camps. We used to love gathering with so many friends in the summer to play games and hang together.
Thanks so much, vegetation. It's good to know that others feel the same, b/c sometimes I think I must be some kind of mommy rebel!!
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